no, I’m not dead

Thursday, March 3, 2005

And no-one else is dead either, well not in my family anyway. I think this might be a record gap between posts for me. I have no real excuse for not blogging, oh apart from this being a knitting blog and I just haven’t been knitting.

What I have done is finish Isabelle’s quilt, and a matching pillow slip too, but I won’t be taking any photos until I can actually get it out during daylight and get some good shots. I feel anxious about how to photograph something so large with no large or well lit place to display it. I have been working madly on Mem’s new website, and so has she, I am getting anxious about whether the end result will be good. I have been feeling anxious about Isabelle’s birthday party. I have been feeling anxious about changing fertility specialists and upping the interference with nature this month. I have been feeling too anxious about Carla to actually pick her up and start knitting. I just can’t decide whether to go with the original pattern or my own reverse engineered in-the-round version. I have been thinking about the TV meme daily, afterall it would give me something to say, but yep, you guessed it, that makes me anxious too. There is nothing on at the moment that I like enough to actually want to announce to the world that I watch, and yet the TV is on every night.

So um, I guess the title of this post should have been “I’m not dead but I am anxious”, though it has to be said that one thing I am not anxious about right now is dying, and that is something, right?

Back to the TV thing, I really have been thinking about this a lot. When Isabelle was 3 months old and I first caught her trying to figure out what that screen was on the other side of the room I was horrified and we immediately instigated a no TV while she is awake rule. Despite the fact that there were a number of shows I watched religiously back then I lobbied hard for getting rid of the thing. Jesse, who watched virtually no TV, refused. We kept it but we stuck to our “only while she sleeps” rule until we started moving around the country when Isabelle was 16 months old. Suddenly Play School became my best friend and now Isabelle watches more television than I am comfortable with but I just don’t know how else to get through the day… I on the other hand no longer have any shows I care that much for and these days I knit, so I don’t pay attention anyway. So what TV couldn’t I live with out?

Play School
Bear in the Big Blue House
The Fimbles
The Hoobs
Bob the Builder
Postman Pat

Not all in one day of course, but you get the picture. I still wish we could just get rid of the Television but now that it is her that is addicted it seems so much harder. Or maybe it is my dependance on her addiction that makes it harder. Whatever the case I don’t see us getting rid of it any time soon and meanwhile the most important thing on it is ABC Kids.

I really, truly, am going to start knitting again soon. Very soon, maybe even tonight.


Comment by Cara on 3/3/2005 @ 10:08 pm

Take a deep breath. Now another. Don’t worry about the knitting - it’s not going anywhere. And we’re not going anywhere either. You’ll get to it when you get to it.

Kudos on the quilt - I can’t wait to see pictures.

I hope you get to relax soon.

Comment by mrspilkington on 4/3/2005 @ 4:54 am

“all will be well and all will be wll and all manner of things shall be well”… i hope something — maybe some mindless knitting, swatches even? — can ease your anxiety. i don’t think you should beat yourself up about the tv thing. before my daughter was born, i was adamantlynotvnotevernoway. we had very strict television rules in my home, and i planned to do the same. then i felt so guilty when i got a couple of sesame street dvds so that i could get little breaks. but i think about my husband and many friends who watched a LOT of tv growing up, and it seems fine. i think it depends on more than just watching tv or not — it’s the type of shows, the other things kids do, the quality of home life, etc. etc. blah blah blah.

anyway, i hope you feel better soon. i’ll come to a stop here — this is going to be longer than your post!

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